It struck me today that Beyoncé has been on a secret mission to turn white over the years. The proof is in her album covers. 

The skin tones get lighter, the hair gets straighter...from a bootilicious island girl to a strange amalgamation of Ke$ha and Jessica Simpson, it seems Beyoncé is the MJ of our time!

Michelle Williams has always been my favourite Destiny's Child member, simply because she was always the forgotten one, the underdog, the one who would get the throwaway lines in those big DC songs where Beyoncé would showboat her vocals and Kelly would provide some understated vocal balance while looking fierce. 

Sure, when they all struck out with solo careers, Michelle went the gospel route for her first two albums. Lame.

But, back in 2008, she released Unexpected which revamped her as an R&B pop singer and yeilded one of my all-time fave party tracks "We Break The Dawn". (Please watch that video for some serious man candy.)

And today, with Queen B struggling with her latest solo album and cacophonic single, and Kelly trying desperately to straddle the line between R&B vixen and gay disco diva, Michelle has released a new single "Love Gun" from her upcoming 4th album. 

The track is straight ahead pop. No gimmicks. No vanities. No pretenses. And it's great. 

Funny that out of the three children of Destiny, it's Michelle whose music appears to be the most effortless and fun.

So, what do you do when your latest album is struggling to sell. You show some skin in your music video.

That's what Beyoncé did for her second single off 4, "The Best Thing I Never Had".

The kiss-off song about a past love who brushed her off, much to his regret, obvis. And it features her in lingerie for the first half of the song, before she gets ready for her wedding. Intercut with that yawnfest are shots of her prom where her jerk boyfriend cheats on her. That was actually pretty cool. 

But, everything else, snooooooze.

Really, for a hot mess of a song, what more could you expect than a hot mess of a video?

For "Run The World (Girls)", Beyoncé leads an army of couture-clad ladies in a rebellion against the oppressive male regime. She's like the Che Guevara of dance!

Directed by Francis Lawrence, who's probably best known for Gaga's "Bad Romance", Beyoncé seems to be trying her hand at epic videos. Yet, for a video so epic, it's so simple. All it does is focus on the chreography. Which is stellar, don't get me wrong. I mean, girl balances on the heels of her stilettos, for cryin' in the kitchen sink. 

But, for a video that's a statement about being a strong female, the best she could come up with is dancing in skimpy designer duds, writhing in the sand and looking sexy in the sand? In a way, she's saying that women can only lead by being seductresses, while men are always confusing their pistols with their privates. (Thank you, Catwoman.)

Back to the drawing board, I say. And while you're there, reconsider those blond eyebrows. They scare me.

Beyoncé's new single "Run The World (Girls)" is out and oy vey, it's a mess. 

I supposed she's trying to recapture the girl power feeling of "Single Ladies", but this song is structurally schizophrenic. The percussion drastically shifts from fast-paced cavalry march to a slow ominous thumping, and it's all confused by blips and whistles and screams.

Meanwhile, Beyoncé, who has a really good voice, is vocally all over the place. Stacatto pronunciation, growls and snarls, and melissma aplenty. 

Sadly, because this is B we're taking about, this song is bound to run the world, regardless of how haphazard it sounds.

Rihanna's released her latest music video "S&M" and it's chock full of all sorts of freaky bondage gear. But, it's all made a little less frightening because it's all done in baby pinks and blues.

Awww, isn't that ball gag cute? I wonder if it comes in tangerine?

Anyway, it's an interesting look at the relationship between celebrity and the press. After all, it really is a sado-masochistic one, where one party can't really is at the mercy of the other.

But, while this is the first single from Rihanna's latest album, Loud, that doesn't make me cringe, RiRi is just trying way to hard to be edgy. Hog-tied in a onesie? Walking Perez Hilton on a leash? Baby pink leather gear? We get it, Rihanna. You're a girl in charge of her sexuality. But, it was way more interesting when you were more genuine about your dark side, like your Rated R phase. Nothing in this new video will be more graphic and bold as the image from Rated R's booklet of Rihanna naked, wrapped in barbed wire.

Also, it doesn't help that this video is really just a mash up of Spice Girls, Madonna and Beyoncé.

Full disclosure: I don't mind country music. GOOD country music. Not the honky-tonk shit. 

I mean, I don't actively look for country music, or buy country albums. But, every now and then, I'll hear a good country tune and I like it. If you want good melodies and great vocal performances, I'm telling you, country is where it's at.

Do you need proof?

Reba McEntire's new album All The Women I Am is out and it features a cover of Beyonce's "If I Were A Boy", and hot damn, this version is way better than Beyonce's! Instead of Ms. Hova's overly dramatic singing, Reba provides a much more emotional and genuine delivery of the song and its story. 

And who knew that when it came to schooling Beyonce as to how it's really done, Reba would come out of left field and pwn her? Good on you, Reebs.

Plus this is way better than Liza Minelli's cover of "Single Ladies". And this has now officially become the gayest post ever.