Maroon 5 and Christina Aguilera get all funky on their new single "Moves Like Jagger".
The video features a topless Adam Levine and a very well-lit and tightly-framed Christina cavorting around a lot of sexy women dressed like Mick Jagger. The video is framed with an old, and humbling, interview with Mick, who clearly had no idea at the time how much of an impact he would have on music history.
But, it seems that history isn't Adam and Christina's strong suit. After all, why is a song about Mick Jagger all disco? Shouldn't it be more classic Brit rock?
So, I didn't watch the Superbowl. Big surprise. Instead I worked on some music and finished a book. A perfect Sunday afternoon, if you ask me.
But, I guess I should comment on the musical acts that occured during the event. Especially cuz it was a trainwreck of a spectacle.
Let's start with Lea Michele from Glee who sang "America the Beautiful" in what I can only imagine was a promo for the special episode of Glee that aired after the Super Bowl. She did a decent job, even if she does sound like a Disney princess. I'm just wondering how she managed to get a solo performance at the Superbowl. She's reportedly a big diva, so she must have relished in the fact that they didn't ask for the whole cast.
Then, Christina came out in a very bad weave and sang the national anthem. Yes, it took less then 30 seconds for her to begin her trademark melissmatic singing. The real "controversy" is that she flubbed the lyrics by singing "What so proudly we watched, at the twilight's last gleaming" instead of "O'er the ramparts we watched, we so gallantly streaming". I didn't catch the mistake. Partly because I don't know the words, but mostly because I was mesmerized by her over-singing. And then the we'll completely fell off the wagon at the money shot - she kinda bailed on the "land of the free" line. We were all expecting a crazy note there, admit it. And then her voice sounded like it was about to give out during "home of the brave". Girl, go take a nap.
And, then we get to the half-time show with the Black Eyed Peas. This was a 12-minute auto-tuned mess of a medley. And it was bad. I mean, you know it's terrible when the most remarkable thing about the performance are the LED costumes that the dancers were wearing.
It started with peas descending from the roof for "I Gotta Feeling". That's when I gotta feeling this was going to be a mess. Then, we went to "Boom Boom Pow" and somehow APL managed to be offkey. Yes, he was rapping. I didn't know that was possible. Then, out of nowhere, Slash appears and Fergie butchers "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns N' Roses. She sounded like a drunk mom doing karaoke. Then, we go through "Pump It" and "Let's Get It Started" before Usher comes down to sing "OMG" with will.i.am. Well, he danced, more than sang. But, it was pretty darn entertaining. Especially when he jumped over will.i.am and landing in the splits. Yowza! Then, the Peas decides it's a good time to remind us that they used to a band with legitimate opinions by singing "Where Is The Love?" But, Fergie was trying to take the song over by singing louder than everyone else. Finally, they end with "The Time (Dirty Bit)" and the torture is over. Wait, did the robot voice say "that was mega"? I guess it's right. If they meant to say "mega crap".
So, T.I. released a new song called "Castle Walls" featuring Christina Aguilera. It's a good song and all, but it's another one of those "oh, fame really sucks" kind of songs that seem to be all the rage these days.
Can I just say, these "woe is me" kind of songs just really annoy me.
Sure, being famous isn't all it's cracked up to be. And sure, it's nice to know that these celebrities are aware enough about the trappings of fame that they can lament the simpler days of being a regular person.
But, snap out of it. You are not regular people anymore. You are celebrities who earn millions of dollars and have masses of adoring fans. You knew what you were signing up for when you got into the music business. Yeah, you may have started out as someone who just wanted to make music and get it heard, but in the back of every artist's mind is the aspiration to be the "next big thing". So, now that you've attained that goal, don't bitch about it.
It's called looking a gift horse in the mouth. And as quickly as us fans have built you up, we can tear you down.
These songs don't make me feel any sympathy for the artist. They just make me angry at their delusions.
As far as I'm concerned, they can go cry into their million dollar bills.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks Christina Aguilera's management wishes they had a time machine.
I mean, she had monster success with her 2006 album Back To Basics, so you think that it would made much more sense for her to star in Burlesque and release the lead single from the soundtrack, "Express" at that time.
Instead, her new film venture seems to be in a bit of a time warp. She tried to reinvent herself as a dancefloor diva with her album Bionic, which wasn't the "comeback" she was hoping for.
Temporal technicalities aside, "Express" is a pretty good song. It seems she is trying to blend her dance and jazz sounds, and it works. And, of course, her voice is always the star of the show. I can't hate on someone who is clearly that gifted of a vocalist.
