What the hell is happeningi in Britney Spears' new video "I Wanna Go"???

In yet another video that chronicles her struggle with dealing with the press, the video opens with Britney telling a bunch of reporters to go fuck themselves (the funniest part of the video), before she takes to the streets and unleashes a Britney-style rampage... well, this time without an umbrella.

She gropes fans, makes out with a hot cop and takes paparazzi down with her microphone. She seems to be living out every big pop star's dream. That is, until we find out the paparazzi are actually cyborgs. Including her knight in a shiny convertable, Guillermo Diaz (Weeds). 

Oh, phew, it's all very elaborate daydream. Or was it? In an unwarranted nod to Michael Jackson's "Thriller", the final frame reveals Guillermo really is a cyborg. 

The whole thing is dumb. While I appreciate Britney having fun at her own expense ("Crossroads 2: Cross Harder"), asking me to believe that she's really that in control of her life, let alone her career, is a pretty big pill to swallow. 

Speaking of pills, whatever meds she's on these days really brings out the sparkle in her eyes.

Brace yourself.

The first thing you see in this video is that this video is dedicated to Michael Jackson. And thus, the eye-rolling began.

I guess it makes sense since the song, "She Ain't You" samples MJ's "Human Nature". But, I don't think that means Chris needs to dress up like Michael circa "Smooth Criminal" and dance like him for the full video. 

I suppose he's trying to identify with the late King of Pop as a martyr. But, then when he starts walking on water, like history's biggest martyr, Jesus Christ, that's excessive.

Also, Chris, you will never get Rihanna back, so stop whining. And I'm sure your current girlfriend must love this song. 

We've got another video from beyond the grave!

Michael Jackson's new single "Hollywood Tonight" is actually pretty good. It sounds like something he would have written in the 80s during his prime, and I'm glad the producers didn't fuck around with studio gimmicks.

The video follows a young dancer who moves to Hollywood with big dreams. It's a typical story about the reality of making it in the biz, right down to a stint in a strip club. LA is a city that will eat you up and spit you back out.

Interesting that it's also the city that will milk as much cash and publicity from a dead celebrity as possible. Hmmm...

Lady Gaga returns to the music video game with another characteristically epic mini-movie.

I admit, it's taken me a long while to warm up to "Born This Way", and I still am not blown away by it. But, thanks to the video, the song has gone up a couple of notches of likeability. 

Clocking in at over 7 minutes in length, the first thing we see is a pink triangle, a symbol of gay pride nodding to her legions of gay followers. And if the triangle was too subtle for you, the next thing we see is a unicorn. Yep, this one's for the laaaaadies! 

The opening scene is a creation myth told through a 70's sci-fi treatment. We see Gaga as Mother Monster, giving birth to a new race of humanity that is free from prejudice, and possibly a Messianic complex. The whole thing reminds me of Superman meets Rosemary's Baby. Through the use of mirror imagery and some camera tricks, the scene is actually pretty graphic. But, are you really surprised?

Meanwhile, Gaga also plays her version of the devil, giving birth to evil in the form of a gun, while a man with a skullface watches. 

It's all pretty religious and quite dark for a song that is so positive. 

Once the song kicks in it's all cool choreography, Gaga looking pretty hot, even with the embedded spikes, and really great imagery.

In the end, we see Gaga walking the streets (the son of God-ga?) in glowing boots and gloves that remind me of Michael Jackson and with a gap in her tooth that reminds me of Madonna. Again, I wish Gaga would stop with the homages, but it is nice that she's recognizing her musical idols. 

So, while I'm still lukewarm about the song, I'm completely in love with the video. It's epic, smart, shocking and fun, much like what I expect from Gaga.

Michael Jackson

x a couple of decades

- a few degrees of talent

+ an (alleged) coke addiction

=

Bruno Mars

The video for Michael Jackson's first posthumous single "Hold My Hand", which features Akon, is pretty cute.

I mean, there's not much more I can say about it. We've got well-used footage of MJ, cut with lots of scenes of people holding hands. I like his shadow dancing on the wall. It's all just very sweet and a nice reminder for everything Michael stood for.

The song is still not good, but the video is nice. Watch!

The first official single from Michael Jackson's first posthumous album, Michael, was recently released.

"Hold My Hand" features the late King of Pop sounded just as good as I remember... well, vocally anyway.

Production-wise, the song doesn't sound like an MJ song. In fact, it sounds like Akon, who guests on the track, just wrote the song and had Michael sing vocals for it. It's definitely not going to go down as anything notable in Michael's pop legacy.

Recently, will.i.am publicly blasted the new MJ album as nothing more than a disrespectful cash grab, saying:

“Whoever put it out and is profiting off of it, I want to see how cold they are to say that what [Michael] contributed during his life wasn’t enough. He just wasn’t any ordinary artist. He was a hands-on person. To me it’s disrespectful. There’s no honoring... Michael Jackson songs are finished when Michael says they’re finished.”

I never thought I would agree with will.i.am, but, well, here we are.

On the plus side, I think the single artwork (in the video below), where the silhouettes holding hands make an "M", is pretty cute.

The king of pop's posthumous album Michael is on the horizon, and the lead single "Breaking News" has just been posted on his website. Nothing like greedy music execs trying to rake in the dough! 

I have to say, it's a pretty decent song. While it can't hold a candle to his big hits from his career, it's way better than "You Rock My World". Where that song sounded like it was trying to imitate everyone else, "Breaking News" has some of that "Bad" Michael Jackson attitude and his trademark vocal harmonies.

But is it just me, or can I totally picture Britney singing this song, too? 

Regardless, I'm very surprised. And relieved after hearing that mess of a cover by T-Pain.

It will be interesting to see if there are any other solid tracks on the album. And it will be nice for his music to be what makes the news, not his celebrity.

To hear the full song, you'll have to go to his site, but you can check out a quick preview below.