Have you ever wanted to see will.i.am morph from a sperm, to a 6-year-old, to a teen to an old man who gets head from an old woman?

No, of course you don't.

But I sat through Wolfgang Gartner's latest video "Forever", also known as the creepiest video, and I didn't want to be alone in my mental scarring.

There was a time, before she found Jesus, that all Lady Gaga sang about was fame and fashion. And while I don't disagree with Gaga's new lyrical inspiration, I miss the element of simplicity.

So, Natalia Kills fills that void quite nicely. I've loved every single she's released so far. Her knack for exploring the darker side of pop music is something that is refreshing in this day of big pop stars singing about nothing more than partying and hookups. 

With "Free", we find Natalia at her cheekiest and most lighthearted. The ode to living large on a small budget is visually counterpointed with video that looks like a Vogue photo shoot from the 80s, right down to the big shoulder pads and androgynous fashion. 

And of course, she pokes fun at the concept of haute couture with jarrring shots of her head on a bodybuilder's body, her neck stretched out in tribal fashion and her hair bun on fire.

The song, produced by will.i.am, who also guests on the track, is insanely catchy and fun. I can't wait for her debut Perfectionist to finally be released in August.

... but I'm pretty sure will.i.am is having a very public midlife crisis and passing it off as a fashion statement.

Black Eyed Peas have dropped the video for their latest track that will infect our brains like those worms in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. 

"The Time (Dirty Bit)" is a god-awful hybrid of a cheesy Euro dance song and a bad cover of the Dirty Dancing staple "(I've Had) The Time of My Life". Like, it's really terrible. 

However, the video is super cool. Cube screens, 8-bit transformations and CGI caricatures of the band dominate the clip, which makes it worth watching... on mute, perhaps.

So, what BEP lack in good songwriting, they make up for in the visuals department.

The first official single from Michael Jackson's first posthumous album, Michael, was recently released.

"Hold My Hand" features the late King of Pop sounded just as good as I remember... well, vocally anyway.

Production-wise, the song doesn't sound like an MJ song. In fact, it sounds like Akon, who guests on the track, just wrote the song and had Michael sing vocals for it. It's definitely not going to go down as anything notable in Michael's pop legacy.

Recently, will.i.am publicly blasted the new MJ album as nothing more than a disrespectful cash grab, saying:

“Whoever put it out and is profiting off of it, I want to see how cold they are to say that what [Michael] contributed during his life wasn’t enough. He just wasn’t any ordinary artist. He was a hands-on person. To me it’s disrespectful. There’s no honoring... Michael Jackson songs are finished when Michael says they’re finished.”

I never thought I would agree with will.i.am, but, well, here we are.

On the plus side, I think the single artwork (in the video below), where the silhouettes holding hands make an "M", is pretty cute.

will.i.am needs to stop. Stop sampling 80s songs. Stop with the 808 drum. Stop using Auto-Tune (as a colleague put it, T-Pain wants his gig back).

His new collaboration with Nicki Minaj "Check It Out" dropped today. All I can say is... meh.

I know Nicki Minaj is supposed to be the bee's knees of hip hop these days, and while I recognize her skills, I also don't think she's all that.

Besides, she's totally ripping off Toronto drag queen Donnarama's facial expressions.