David Guetta has released another generic dance track, "Little Bad Girl", this time with the help of Taio Cruz and Ludacris.

I knew I was going to be in for a treat when Taio's auto-tuned voice pronounced "air" and "there" "err" and "therr" in the first verse.

But, I was not expecting the hilarious scene where, as the sun starts to rise, David and his party people run outside and literally skid the world to a halt. That's right, the earth spins backwards, slipping the world back into darkness, allowing the party to continue.

First of all, usually when people are partying non-stop, that means they're on some kind of drug, which means they're in a building that likely already has the windows blacked out. So, the whole earth-stopping thing? Uneccessary. 

Secondly, I like how the people who were waking up, ready to start their day, see the sun go back down and just shrug their shoulders. Talk about unrealistic! In this day and age of earthquakes, hurricanes and raptures, I'd run for the hills! Not go back to bed!

Ugh.

Of course, Gaga would move the release of her new video for "Yoü & I" from Thursday to today, Madonna's birthday, just to rub it in her face.

Bitch.

Just kidding. Probably just a coincidence. Right? Like how "Born This Way" coincidentally sounds like "Express Yourself".

Anyway, it's all forgiven because, even though I can't stand this song, this video is Lady Gaga's best videos since "Bad Romance", believe me.

Think Shania Twain meets Marylin Manson. We see Gaga in all sorts of Frankenstein-ian scenarios with her sexy male model lover. She's got bionic limbs! She's being electrocuted! She's a mermaid! It's all a very stylized version of kink, if you ask me. And it serves nicely as a metaphor for the lengths you would go through for a lover. After all, the song is about her on-again-off-again boyfriend, so who know how many times she's felt she had to "change" for him. Or, how many times she's felt he's brought her back to life, if we continue with the Frankenstein's monster theme.

But, what's more revealing is Gaga, in near-nude makeup, at the piano, seranading herself, dressed in drag. After all, who can love Gaga, more than Gaga herself?

There is a lot going on in this video, and after the WTF-ness of her past efforts from Born This Way, it's nice to see her return to her music video making prowess.

The world has been imploring Justin Timberlake to make new music. He stubbornly refuses, to focus on his acting career. 

But, we have some good news! He has signed a pop/soul group FreeSol to his label and he's featured heavily on their first single "Hoodies On, Hats Low"! YES! Let's take a listen.

.........

What the hell? THAT'S what you're going to unleash on us after a musical silence of 6 years??? 

I mean, it got off to a very promising start. It sounded like trademark Timberlake. Until the horrible opening line. And the realization that the first verse rhymes the word "myself" with itself 4 times in a row. It's then, I realize, that this song is horrible. Even Justin's half-rapping vocals aren't good.

Justin, if this is all you can give us, fine, go act.

Have you ever wanted to see will.i.am morph from a sperm, to a 6-year-old, to a teen to an old man who gets head from an old woman?

No, of course you don't.

But I sat through Wolfgang Gartner's latest video "Forever", also known as the creepiest video, and I didn't want to be alone in my mental scarring.

The latest clip from Swedish electro-rock band Teddybears is one freaky video.

"Cho Cha", which somehow seamlessly features Cee-Lo Green and The B-52s, features a creepy neighbour who talks via his teddy bear dummy, and holds his nubile female neighbour hostage before turning her into a cat-person. 

It's really weird and really creepy... but really cool!

No wonder the album is called Devil's Music.

All right, when this whole Rebecca Black "Friday" thing exploded, I vowed not to post about her because I didn't want to legitimize her attempt at a music career and I didn't want to be mean to a then-13-year-old.

But, she's back. With a new song called "My Moment" and the gloves have to come off.

First of all, this song is bad. Where "Friday" at least had a cheesy, it's so bad it's good, ironic kinda vibe, this song is horrible. It's not catchy. Her voice is amazingly flat. And the production is subpar.

Secondly, the lyrics have this sense of entitlement that I can't stand when it's sung by someone who hasn't earned our respect. She talks about how all the haters are going to be laughing now cuz she's making paper and she's now having her moment. Really??? Last time I checked, your 15 minutes were up. And only extended to 16 minutes because of Katy Perry. 

And, finally, the video is so overblown with her own ego, it's sickening. The shots of her hard at work in the studio, learning a dance routine and walking a red carpet? Is she really that delusional to think we buy any of this garbage?

Rebecca Black, you need to fade into the Internet Meme Hall of Fame and just stop trying. Or, at least take some vocal lessons first.

One of my fave new bands, Foster The People, have unleased their second video for the great track, "Helena Beat". 

The uptempo groovy single begins with images of war and destruction, establishing the setting of the video as, yet another, post-apocalyptic world. The three (cute as ever) guys from the band are kidnapped and tortured by a gang of feral children. It's reminiscent of Lord of the Flies and Mad Max. With a pretty cool ending. 

Take a look and, if you haven't already, I implore you to pick up their debut album Torches. It's phenomenal.

Lupe Fiasco's latest single "Out Of My Head" featuring Trey Songz has the earmarks of being a summer jam. A bouncy, synth-driven beat, sentimental love lyrics and a video with a hot girl.

Speaking of the hot girl, it seems in the video that he keeps seeing the same hot girl everywhere he goes. Um, aren't there meds for that? But, in the end, it turns out hot girl is actually his girlfriend and he was just so in love with her, he kept seeing her everywhere, making his bad day a good day.

Um, aren't there meds for that?

How to woo a girl, acoording to Cody Simpson (Australia's answer to Justin Bieber).

1) Find a picture of a random girl in the mall.

2) Hunt her down in the whole mall, interrogate anyone you can find.

3) Hack into the mall's video system to broadcast your intentions.

4) Offer to meet her at the theatre at 9:30.

If this was an episode of CSI, right after the video ends would be the part where the girl's body is found in a swamp. Didn't her mother ever tell her not to talk to strangers, let alone meet them? The cute ones are always the ones to watch out for. 

I know that LMFAO are a fun pop band that I shouldn't really lose any sleep over. They make fun pop songs, with funny videos that really aren't going to have an impact on the social fabric of our culture. 

But, their vapidness just bugs me. Also, the fact that they've reduced Natalia Kills from an interesting pop star to an auto-tuned robot.

Anyway, "Champagne Showers" picks up a week after they battled shufflin' zombies in "Party Rock Anthem". Now, they're looking for a big party, and the find one, hosted by vampires. It's like Fangtasia on True Blood....but not as sexy. Of course, they end up battling the vampires with holy champagne given to them by Jesus. Yeah, I don't know.

What is a champagne shower, anyway? Is this all some kind of euphemism for ejaculating on all over someone? Those dance moves make me think so.